How Long Does It Take to Heal from Narcissistic Trauma?
So you’ve finally made it to therapy and you’re wondering how long it takes to heal from the trauma of a narcissistic relationship! Well, I’m sorry to tell you… there is no “one size fits all” answer to this question. Everyone has a really unique experience when it comes to narcissistic relationships and there are 5 important factors that will influence your healing journey:
Circumstances - The nature of your relationship matters. Is this your parent who excessively drinks at every family gathering and feels entitled to hug and/or take photos of your children against their wishes? Is it a manager from your last job who denied plagiarizing your work which led to an HR nightmare? These are really different scenarios to work through!
Length of Trauma - Has this been a lifetime or a 2 year relationship? Typically, the longer it’s been, the more there is to understand and heal from in therapy.
Self-limiting Beliefs - The way we internalize trauma can differ from person to person. Some may experience gaslighting and have a strong sense of self that protects them from internalizing statements like “you’re crazy” or “you’re too sensitive”. Many people who hear these statements will start to believe these things are true. It takes deep trauma-informed work to overcome the beliefs that you are alone, worthless, overdramatic, etc.
Self-care Routines - I’ve found that self-care is the least effective when it’s used as a band-aid for when you feel triggered. When consistent routines are put into place (like yoga, making art, or playing sports) there is always something preventing you from falling too deep into the pain and suffering of your most traumatized moments. It takes a while to figure out what self-care speaks to you and to establish consistency.
Community Support - Talking with people you trust and love is one of the most supportive feelings in the world. I’m talking about those people who really see you and care about your experience. It takes time and effort to cultivate these close friendships and share trust when narcissistic relationships have often left us feeling so isolated.
Are you looking for support in your healing journey? I offer individual and group therapy to clients in Massachusetts! Reach out for a free intro call.