Survivors of Narcissistic Relationships
Narcissistic relationships can leave us feeling so confused and dysregulated that we question our entire reality. Most people’s first impression in a narcissistic relationship was either of a charming, outgoing individual or a deeply misunderstood person. Then, the narcissist progressively engaged in manipulative, controlling, and attention-seeking behaviors. Nothing you’ve done has seemed to be enough for the narcissist to stop these behaviors. I often see the lights come on when clients realize that the narcissist isn’t capable of changing their behaviors. It is so easy to fall into the trap that we are not doing enough to help, but the truth is that due to the nature of narcissism, we never could do enough.
Narcissistic relationships often reach a point at which we need to create boundaries. If helping the narcissist is out of our control, it means we need to identify what is in our control. Individual therapy can help you learn the skills of identifying narcissistic behavior, understanding it’s impacts, and choosing how you respond. Many of my clients enter therapy with doubts about setting boundaries and expressing their needs. You deserve to learn how to advocate for yourself and make choices that allow you to prioritize your mental health.
It’s also typical that the individuals seeking my services have already distanced themselves from the narcissist, but notice themselves continuing to carry the relationship with them. Processing the trauma of these relationships is so important to healing. During your sessions, we will use a combination of EMDR and IFS to provide you relief and freedom from the painful memories, help you regain your sense of self, learn to express your needs with confidence, and build relationships with people who truly care for you,
FAQs
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The most common signs of a narcissistic relationship are entitlement, a lack of empathy, and a lack of accountability. Narcissists carry a sense of self-importance and they exaggerate their achievements & talents. They’re unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings of others. In fact, they often shift blame and minimize the feelings of others. Narcissists also engage in behaviors like manipulation and gaslighting to stay in control. They might present as victims of their own choices or present with a haughty, arrogant demeanor.
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People often feel stuck in the hope that their narcissistic parent or partner will change. It can feel really scary to consider losing a loved one. People often doubt themselves as well, for example feeling like a bad daughter or a wife who wants to betray her vows. The shame of this can keep people stuck in relationships for years. There may also be financial ties or legal reasons why someone can’t cut contact. There is no right answer about how to create distance or leave a narcissistic relationship. Everyone’s experience is so personal that we each need to work out how to move forward in a way that aligns with our values and honors our boundaries.
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Yes, most people start therapy when they need clarity about the type of relationship they’re facing or help healing from the impacts of this relationship. Understanding the patterns of narcissistic behavior can help you feel unsurprised when the cycle repeats and feel confident that the problem isn’t you. Approaches like EMDR and IFS can help you heal from trauma, reduce people-pleasing, and identify your boundaries. Together, we can help you find relief from painful experiences, reduce shame and self-blame, recognize relationship patterns, and rebuild confidence in your own judgment.